menopausebarbees
... the tales of two sisters

Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.

Autumn

AUTUMN…

The onset of the beautiful transitional time of year. We think about colors, cranberries, and cornucopia. And of course Halloween, harvesting, holidays; feasts, family, and the fireplace. If you are at this moment blessed with health and are not living in a war, famine, or flood zone, you can dare to delight in anticipation for autumn to settle around––oh wait! 

What?? 

Scandal?? 

What happens when that fireside chat out of the blue takes a left turn?? I’m particularly referring here to the scandals surrounding two women last week: actress Mia Long whose longtime partner Ime Okoda has been suspended from his job as head coach of the Boston Celtics for the entire 2022-2023 basketball season due to his infidelity and pregnant waiting on baby number 3 Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo, whose husband singer Adam Levine for the band Maroon 5, was recently exposed for sending flirtatious direct messages to several women and allegedly having a year-long affair with one of them.

This is all quite unfortunate and just goes to show you that being beautiful and about 6$ will get you an oat milk cappuccino––but will not spare you from anything in life–including suffering and heartache.  Both Nia and Behati are beautiful and successful women in their fields; they are, I would imagine, also women who are no doubt at this very moment staring down the long, hard road to healing, controlling their rage, and trying to figure out how to deal with the transition not only in the falling autumn leaves but also in their hearts. My question is: will things ever be the “way they were” between these couples? Experts say it’s possible for them to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they’re willing to put in the work. 

Work?? 

Where’s the fun, excitement, longing, and desire in that? Well, if man can walk on the moon, I guess all things are possible.

Anyway, my curious mind wants to know: could you, would you take back your mate if they cheated on you? Would your mind be strong enough to not lead you down that dark, dank road of painful images and thoughts? How would you stop yourself from overthinking? Could you trust again? Would the betrayal diminish or downright destroy your physical desire? Looking into the eyes, who will be the first to blink? 

Like leaves breaking from tree branches and settling on the ground, perhaps one has to mentally break away from the affair to transcend the pain in order to be able to settle peacefully, with both feet firmly planted on the ground…

World Heart Day 2022

To recognize and spread awareness about World Heart Day on September 29, 2022, as well as to make a difference in your life or the life of someone you know, I will be GIVING AWAY the English language Kindle version of my multi-award-winning book, 

Incompatible with Nature-Against the Odds: A Parent’s Memoir of Congenital Heart Disease for 24 hours. 

Yes, my gift to you begins Thursday, September 29, 2022, at 12 AM PDT and ends Friday, September 30, 2022, 11:50 9 PM PDT. 

If you are not familiar with my book, please visit my website: www.traciemayer.com

 And carry this with you always: whether you are fighting for life, changing course in life, or enduring any kind of change, especially uncomfortable change, don’t give up! Be courageous in your conviction and have conviction in your courageousness! To achieve our highest potential in life, sometimes we have to be fighters. So be driven! Push! And understand that character is developed in difficult times.

Remember that we can defy adversity. We can develop our ability to be resilient in the storm. Everything is possible because, as my Daddy always told me, a refrain that carried me through my darkest hours and made me believe that I could make it:

“It ain’t no givin’ up and no givin’ out.”

And THAT my friends, is the HEART of the matter. 

Here’s to life!

And since we’re on the topic of life–

here’s hoping that all the dictators in the world causing unnecessary grief, and unspeakable mental and physical damage to those just trying to live their lives with contented hearts, will on the 29th of September, the day the entire world dedicates to promoting a healthy lifestyle and fighting heart disease the number one global killer, maybe these twisted, heartless, tyrants who are so very far removed from reality and the needs and wants and the basic human rights entitled to all human beings, will find a heart. Maybe they should read my book and perhaps then they would be made aware-even if they can’t comprehend it–at least they would be made aware of the extreme lengths we go to, the fire-laced hoops we jump through, the prayers we fervently pray, the promises made to eat shit with the buzzards if we are granted our greatest wish of all which is to see our babies thrive and feel good about themselves and their environment.  Not even in our worst nightmares do we envision our babies being forcibly snatched from the streets and forced to go risk their very lives in a war or get beaten to death because they don’t cover their hair.

Maltreatment, ruthlessness, injustice, torment, oppression, persecution–the list is long, are not and never will be conducive to healthy hearts. I will never understand why man has a penchant for war and cruelty and destruction.

After 6000 years of modern human civilization, is this all we have?

 

Express Don’t Repress Yourself!

Yesterday, my sister and co-blogger, Tracie wrote about wearing pink and the meaning behind this trending tone.  I embraced her words, and I actually laughed aloud as she wasn’t kidding when she said my mother and I were seriously worried about what she might wear to my son and daughter in law’s wedding ceremony.  My mother expressed that Brett was her first grandchild to get married, and that we all needed to represent!  Mama doesn’t play when it comes to us dressing and she has no shame in telling us when to pull out the Spanx or if something just ain’t working.  Although I take heed to Mama’s suggestions, Tracie not so much.  So, when Tracie arrived in this pink ensemble of a plastic skirt over leggins and a ruffled white blouse with pink and white boots that she assembled for the night before the nuptials, yes, we were very, very, worried.

Tracie, like any gifted artist, has always seized any opportunity to express herself with her words and her wardrobe. All of our lifelong friends and family can attest to this.  I’m sure it was very challenging for Tracie to wear our parochial school uniforms from Mt. Virgin through Blanchet.  Twelve years of “matchy-matchy.”

I attribute part of her color clothing choices to genetics as our father was fashion forward in his day.  He was dapper and not unabashed to wear bright shaded ties, orange blazers, Burgandy corduroy jumpsuits, and one of my favorites, a classic pair of red, white, and blue stripped boots he found on a trip overseas.  Mama being the queen of class, she innately knows fashion.  As a life-long model on and off the runway, it’s in her DNA to know how to style.  So, Tracie got it honestly.

The lessons we learned from both of our parents was to set your own style and wear it well. Express and don’t repress your attire. And as my sign I’m holding below says, be Simply Unbothered by the stares and the how do you dares- most of the gawkers wish they had the courage.

As designer Ralph Lauren said, “I’ve never wanted to be in fashion, because if you’re in fashion, you’re going to be out of fashion.”  And a Menopausebarbee can’t have that!

 

Our Dapper Daddy

Our Majestic Mama

It’s Monday so Let’s Think Pink and Smile Anyway!

Well, it’s Monday so we might as well think…pink!

Pink symbolizes youth, good health, and playfulness. It’s the flush of first love and stands for nurturing femininity. It’s used as the symbolic color of the movement to support breast cancer research, and I think many of us consider it to be a cheerful color. Both my guest bath and main bathroom are painted pink!

Although I live my life out loud for the most part on social media, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of things like what I’m wearing or what I’m doing, nobody really knows about it until I’ve worn it or done it.

So when I came back to Seattle for my nephew’s nuptials, Mama and Dana had no idea what I would be wearing to the event. I hadn’t seen Dani’s magnificently gorgeous Carolina Herrera gown as it was having some alterations made. I had seen Mom’s beautiful ensemble designed by both Dries van Norton and Lily Yang. And when Mama saw the dress I wore by Gene Shelly’s, it moved her nearly to tears of pure joy. The nostalgia on her face was so soul-stirring! She gave me the dress 40 years ago and she had worn it for 15 years before that! It was just a joy to see her face when she saw me. 

And as we all got together for pictures, we all realized that each of us was in a shade of pink. Pastel colors are a trending color at the moment so we were right in step! The sun was shining. I applied my pink lipstick. And we all smiled. 

Soft, bold, and exciting all at once!

Need Help?

As a business owner and operator of housing, I am all too familiar with the hardship of finding quality contractors.  During the Pandemic, when many people spending more time at home, the demand for home improvement skyrocketed and labor was scarce.

Today, I’m sharing a few who I have worked with and if you are looking for help- check them out!

Alex – for full-service renovations
Everett Bothell Highway, Mill Creek, WA, United States, Washington
(425) 879-9053
CRSAleksandr@gmail.com
and
For getting your grounds groomed for winter-
Roberto
R&S Landscaping 206 487 8392
randslandscapingwa.com
And of course if you are looking to move- give us a call TD Frank Family Properties
206 718-2037

Boss Lady

I fervently believe we must have purpose to live a long, prosperous life.  The brain is a muscle, so work it out by reading, staying informed and doing mind games and puzzles.  The heart is a muscle, so keep it pumping by being active, taking the stairs instead of the elevator and get in steps whenever you can.

My husband, Eric and I spend a lot of time in senior housing facilities, as his company owns and leases the real estate back to operators.  Eric’s band volunteers and plays music for the elderly, and I’m always fascinated to see how music brings life and energy to these often-desolate lives.

 

 

It’s an interesting study, as I once read, “some people die at 50, but they aren’t buried until 85.”    As we watched the world mourn the passing of the Queen Mother yesterday at age 96, who two days before her passing installed her 15th Prime Minister, I marvel at her capacity to be a “Boss Lady” for 70 years running the throne.

When I look at her life, taking the throne at age 25, after her father died at age 56, and through all the trials and tribulations, including the scandals of her former daughter in law, the People’s Princess Diana’s death, her son being accused of sex trafficking, her grandson and his black wife leaving royal duties citing racism, surviving Covid at age 95 and finally taking her final breath September 8, at age 96, we can all agree she was a Boss Lady and I don’t know anyone who can fill her shoes.

SMILE You are on Candid Camera- Do You Know Them?

I really should have been a private detective.  I am consumed with unearthing details of who done it.  Yes, I watch waaaaay too much Dateline, Deadline Crime with Tamron Hall, 48 Hours Mystery, and To Catch a Thief programs. When I received a phone call this past weekend that one of our Capital Hill security apartment building’s storage units had been broken into, I was eager to see footage from the criminals caught on tape.

My family has owned this particular building since 1964.  For over fifty-eight years, we have taken pride in maintaining a safe and sound community for our residents. Therefore, the anger and frustration I feel when this protection is violated is rightfully understandable.

These criminals went in at 2:30 in the morning, using a knife to pick the lock.  It appears as if they were going to rob the laundry machines, however, we no longer accept quarters, and all the machines are app or credit card based.  The criminals then decided to cut open the resident storage bins and ruffle through their personal items, helping themselves to other’s personal belongings.

These criminals spray painted the security cameras we have in place; however, these photos were taken when they first broke in.  We filed a police report. Today, we are asking for your help too- do you know them?  The cameras have been repaired.

Until you are caught- at least SMILE, you’re on candid camera!

Something for Your Toolbox

The Jungle- The History of Labor Day

My husband has always had an incredible work ethic.  He has worked since he was 13 years old.  One of my favorite stories was when he 16 years old, he was employed at Bamberger’s, a high-end Department Store in Pennsylvania.  He was an experienced salesman and gifted at marking up suits for tailoring.  However, his youthful appearance did not give confidence to his skill set for the established middle-aged shoppers purchasing business suits.  So, Eric had the elderly fitting room clerk put a measuring tape around his neck and as Eric measured, chalked, and pinned, he instructed the janitor to nod affirmatively.  Eric’s creativity helped him sell a lot of suits.

I asked Eric what Labor Day meant to him.  He suggested I read, The Jungle, a novel by American journalist, Upton Sinclair.  In this tale, one will read about the history of the working class with unpleasant living and working conditions, lack of support, and massive corruption in business.  This book dealt with abuse of underage labor in deplorable conditions.

Although this book was written in 1906, the story reckons the popular reality television series of today, Undercover Boss, where the senior executives go in disguise to investigate how their firm operates and how to reward hard working employees.  I have always believed for a business to be successful; everyone has to get in the trenches.

As I have shared posts about Generational Wealth, these statistics are vital to keep in mind:

  • 60% of the US workforce is employed by a family-owned business.
  • Family-owned businesses are responsible for creating 78% of all new jobs in the US.

Today, as we celebrate Labor Day, whether you are an employer or employee, remember our history and let’s all work together with compassion, as we recognize the contributions and efforts to the development of the United States.

Enjoy your holiday- tomorrow we all get back in the trenches! 

Little dapper Eric years before his job at  Bamberger’s.

 

 

With Love from the Ukraine

WELCOME to September everybody–I swear it seems that time is just flying by!

There are several important international days this month: two of my favorites are World Heart Day on the 29th and the International Day of Charity on the 5th. Another event personally important to me this month is the art exhibition of my friend from Ukraine, Svitlana Andriichenko in Cologne, Germany. 

Svitlana and I are just beginning to develop what I hope will be a lasting friendship and just over a week ago, she invited me over to visit. I was extremely enthusiastic to go, as I wanted to literally put myself in her shoes and try to imagine what it could possibly feel like having fled my country and living in a small government-subsidized apartment with donated furnishings knowing that my home with all my possessions had been confiscated and plundered by my country’s enemy. 

I cannot imagine waking up to this nightmare every day.

It just so happened that our get-together fell on Ukraine Independence Day, a national holiday, which marks Ukraine’s independence in 1991 from the Soviet Union. This day just also happened to mark the sixth-month date of the war outbreak when the world turned upside down for so many of Svitlana’s family and countrymen. 

I arrived at the building where she lives and walked up the five flights of stairs, Svitlana having met me more than halfway. I kicked off my shoes, and we sat down on the couch where she sleeps in the compact living/dining room/ kitchen. Her 18-year-old daughter Daria, joined us, her private sphere is the single bedroom. Daria speaks German pretty well, and Svitlana can some English so, between the three of us, we made a lively discussion happen about Ukraine, God, and the world. 

In the midst of our conversation, Svitlana strode toward the oven and pulled out a dish she had prepared. I was so not expecting this! It was delicious, called «Блинці з тунцем, запечені з сиром», it is a crepe stuffed with a baked tuna and cheese filling. 

How Svitlana and her daughter remain so even-keeled is remarkable to me. What I do know for certain is that when it appears that all is lost, there is always hope. Always. And if there is hope, there is faith and faith produces what we believe: it is the confidence in what we hope for and the belief in what we cannot see. And to this end, perhaps I can be a small conduit with the aid of my platform to give these two women a reason to keep hope alive which brings me back to Svitlana’s art exhibition in Cologne this month beginning on September 11, at 11 AM. The location is the Lindenthal Institut Friedrich-Schmidt-Strasse 20a, 50935. The patronage is by Mr. Wolfgang Bosbach. 

I do hope you will, my friends, come out, enjoy her oil artworks and support her at her Metamorphose Exhibition. And for those of you around the world who would like to get to know more about Svitlana and have an original painting with a certificate from her, please visit her website: https://andriichenko.art/homepage 

Says Svitlana, “All painting simply has to do is breathe, color, sparkle, and live.”

Live…