menopausebarbees
... the tales of two sisters
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Ben Said it Best



Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.


                                 Benjamin Franklin 



         If it was good enough for Ben, it’s good enough for me!                              Happy Friday everybody!


Someone Else's Shoes...A Renewed Sole for the Soul!

Somedays it's good to put yourself in someone else's shoes.  Often times, we get caught in the depressed state of wanting more and concentrating on what we are lacking, rather than what we have.  It is so easy to get caught in the daily grind and take life's necessities for granted, but just what if you awoke one morning and it was all taken away from you?  This past week's tragedy in Oklahoma should be a wake up call for us all.

I was reminded to be grateful this past Tuesday when I along with my son, and friend, Cyndi joined our dear friend, Fredda Goldfarb at Mary's Place- a day shelter for homeless women and their children.  

I was raised by parents who instilled the importance of walking in "someone else's shoes."  I recall as a child, family visits to the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago Illinois.  This 4,415 unit structure was at one time the largest Housing Project in the country.  At it's peak, this property housed 27,000 people, and problems that are bred of poverty were ever present.  As an eight year old, that visit impacted my vision and one of my favorite quotes, to "never look down on anyone, unless I was lifting them up."

So it was with gratitude, 40 years later, that I could share with my son the necessity to witness and help others get back on their feet.  The Executive Director of Mary's Place,  Marty Hartman with her tireless, energetic, passionate, yet disciplined program inspired me to share this blog and hope we can all do more!

As Marty toured us and showed some of the items and services Mary's Place offers such as new underwear, a hot meal, a shower, counseling, medical or a respite for homeless mom taking chemotherapy, I saw how easy it is to contribute.  On Tuesday, I walked in "her shoes", and felt as if I had a re-newed sole for the soul!

It's simple... Donate, Volunteer, Share Your Stuff, Food Programs, Donate Your Vehicle, Planned Giving and See your impact.  
206 621-8474
marysplaceseattle.org


Something for Your Toolbox


Today I would like to share  Something for Your Toolbox: 

“I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”  ~Agatha Christie

And I might add that though we be ravaged, tomorrow if blessed with goodness and mercy, we will see the light of day. We will be resilient, we will reproduce, we will rebuild and we will remember without effort, forever.

 Coming from my very small corner of the universe, this is not much consolation, but nonetheless, 

                             Oklahoma do you hear me?

©2013 Tracie Frank Mayer

The Menopausebarbee Monday Spotlight on Connie Feda



One of the great things about writing this blog is having the opportunity to share news that some of us might not get in the course of a normal day. 

Take for example Connie Feda, the Mom shining in the Menopausebearbee Monday Spotlight today. Have you ever heard of her? 


Well if you haven’t, Connie is a Mom to six children, a remarkable feat in itself. So along with runny noses, colds, lunch boxes, bus tickets, jeans, tooth brushes, entertainment devices, worries, breakfasts and dinners and on and on and on times 6Connie is a loving Mother to a child of special needs, her daughter Hannah, now 13, who has Down syndrome.


When Hannah was 9 years old, she discovered while browsing through a catalog, that there were pictures in it of girls who looked like her sister, but none that looked like her. Mama Connie to the rescue in a big way. Because she couldn’t find any dolls already on the market that reflected the essence of her daughter and children like her, she decided to design her own. She wanted her daughter “to see a doll with Down syndrome and see something beautiful, because that's what I see when I look at her," she said.


And that is the love of a Mother times 6 thousand million billion trillion. 


You can see more about Connie and her venture on  Youtube under the heading: Mom Designs Special Dolls for Down Syndrome Kids. You can also visit the Dolls for Downs website.


Here’s to inspiration.


©2013 Tracie Frank Mayer

It's Friday... So Pump it Up!

I don't care if it's a prank or the real deal.  This video has me smiling and living on a prayer.  Sweet Dreams should be made of moments like these!

Happy Friday Everybody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNM0ENUCO5I


The Ballad of Betty and Bill


This is the ballad of Betty (and Bill)

You think you don’t know them 

but before I’m through

I’m sure you will.


Now as I was walking about town 

just the other day,

I glanced in a storefront window

then couldn’t look away.


For in this window

was something I’d 

never seen before.

No, never something like this

in a trendy women’s 

clothing store.


But sure enough

there they were:

mannequins sized like 

none I’d ever seen.

I thought to myself,

now what could this

possibly mean?


Well I stood and I looked

and I tried to figure it out

and after a moment it was clear

there wasn’t a trace of doubt.


There was a reason 

these dolls were sized like no other

and they surely weren’t on display 

for the expectant mother!


It dawned on me who 

the owner of the store 

was trying to get to:

well of course,

it was the normal people of this world

normal like me and you.


We work hard 

to keep it all together-

and you fellas out there 

don’t run for cover

cause you know it too;

how often have you 

loosened up your belt buckle

in the last year or two?


Yes we exercise and watch what we eat

or at least we try

but the truth of the matter is

things just ain’t like they were

when we were twenty five.


But back to the dolls 

in this downtown store, 

that looked so real,

in the outfits they wore.


And the outfits too 

were also pretty nice 

and to top it all off

they  had a good 

suggested retail price. 

And gettin’ a good price is always a deal

cause what you save on clothes

you can spend on a meal.


I’m in the happiness business 

and I’m here to share the news,

so here’s the moral of the story

lest you be confused:


The world is constantly changing 

and thats a good thing,

so if you want to sell Betty something 

that you hope Betty buys, 

it better be something big enough

to cover Betty’s thighs. 


(Or Bill’s.)

©2013 Tarcie Frank Mayer






Thank You, Angelina.

Many of you heard the breaking news yesterday of Angelina Jolie's decision to have a double mastectomy after discovering she has the BRCA1 Breast Cancer Indicator .

As we are celebrating Mom's this month, I found her decision to make this brave choice for her children a great gift. I am borrowing the blog from a featured member on Blogher to shed more insight on this courageous choice.

Thank you, Angelina.

Because the first thing I thought after hearing the news story about her elective double-mastectomy, was, “If she can do it, I can do it.”

April 11, 2013 - London, England, United Kingdom - Actress and UN Special Envoy ANGELINA JOLIE arrives G8 Foreign Ministers meeting at Lancaster House, where they will discuss a number of issues including the Syrian civil war. (Credit Image: © Johnathan Adam/National News/ZUMAPRESS.com)

When I found out, back in November of 2011, that I have the BRCA-1 mutation, the  decision to opt for a preventative double mastectomy, followed by an oopharectomy, was pretty much a “no-brainer.” I had lost my mother to breast cancer earlier that year, and wanted to be pro-active in making sure I wouldn’t have to face what my mom had to face: a radical mastectomy, chemotherapy, brain surgery, medication upon medication, and eventually a very heart-breaking, very painful physical decline that preceded her death. I also wanted to do what I could to make sure I would be able to enjoy many years with my children, my husband, my extended family and my friends, without my life turning into a constant battle with a life-threatening disease.

A year and a half has passed since I received the results of my genetic testing. In that span of time, I got pregnant with my second child, had a second c-section, and have breast-fed my son for five months, all which have delayed any steps I can take toward having the surgeries. I have also had time to REALLY come to terms with the decision I am facing, the impact it will have on my body, my brain, and my heart, and have had lots of time to doubt my decision. Do I really want to put my body through yet another surgery? Do I really want to see MORE scars than I already do when I look in the mirror? Am I ok with completely losing feeling in my breasts? Am I okay with becoming post-menopausal in my early 40s? Or should I perhaps just be super-vigilant about self-monitoring, without opting for such a radical surgery?

It’s not an easy decision. But hearing about Angelina Jolie’s choice to get the preventative surgeries has been incredibly comforting. I mean, it’s Angelina Jolie! Never in a million years would I have thought that she and I would have much in common. But here we are, both 37 years old, both with mothers that have recently passed away from cancer, both having the BRCA-1 mutation, both having to decide what to do with the knowledge about our genetic makeup.

And, I mean, it’s Angelina Jolie! Lara Croft, Hollywood goddess, mother of eight billion children, Special Envoy of UN, wife of Brad Pitt! Every move she makes is watched, documented, praised or criticized. She is probably one of the only women in the world who would make international headlines for making this kind of decision public.

It’s not that Angelina’s decision makes my doubts go away. And it’s not that her opting for a double-mastectomy makes my choices any easier. This is still MY body, and MY decision to make.

But seriously, it is encouraging to know that if I DO choose to get the surgeries (which I in all likelihood will), I will be sharing my journey with a very beautiful, very brave, very public figure who chose to be proactive in making decisions about her health, her future, and her identity. Her statement, “I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity,” in turn empowers me to make my decisions without feeling like I will be losing my sense of self.

So thank you, Angelina.

 

Dvora Koelling
Parenting with imagination. Or at least trying.




Somebody's Baby

Somebody’s Baby


I’m a first thing in the morning sit down with the news and have a good cup of coffee kind of girl.


There is nothing like waking up and discovering what’s happened overnight in all the far reaches of this big wonderful world we live in.  


I know that my thoughts and feelings will have to shuffle with the unnecessary, the ugly and the unbelievable, but sometimes I’ll come across the unexpected, meaning the unexpected in a good way. I did that just now and it has left me grinning ear to ear. 


 The little man in this video seems to sum up all the precious elements of freedom, innocence, humor and the emotional of being a child. 


If you’ve ever had a mini me, it may make you want to have another.  For a sweet second.


And if looking at him doesn’t stir any parental urges within you, then just sit back and smile and get your day off to a great start.


Youtube Kai and His Girlfriend, Ellen


He is adorable!

©2013 Tracie Frank Mayer



For more stories from Menopausebarbees:

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Menopausebarbees Said Yes to the Dress!

It was the 80's and everything was BIG!  Big Hair, Big Bouffant Gowns, and Big Blue Eyeshadow Makeup - the BIGGER the BETTER!

This month as we celebrate Moms, it's also Prom season, where here in America it celebrates the end of the senior high school year with the biggest formal dance of the year. So, I was inspired to share a story about a certain dress.  Full disclosure, you are welcome if not required to laugh with me.  I am giving a BIG one up for the team in sharing, however, I am shameless.

As my Prom approached, I knew I had to bring it BIG!  I had already been named best dressed by my graduating class at Blanchet High School.  My boyfriend had worked all month at Jay Jacobs, a now defunct clothing store to save enough money to take me to Seattle's most exclusive restaurant, Canlis.  Daddy's white Rolls Royce was polished, white wall tires gleamed and my BIG night on the town awaited, but what on earth was I to wear?

As my mother and I searched all the popular department stores, Frederick and Nelson, Nordstrom, and The Bon Marche, nothing compared to the custom gown Tracie had worn to her wedding.  Her first nuptials had only lasted six months, and the white ruffled, mound of fabric was just collecting dust in a box, so I pleaded with her Tracie to help her little sister out and lend it to "The Community Closet."  Mom endorsed the idea. So, sure enough I would maintain my status as Best Dressed with this BIG, Bouffant, Ball Gown which I now call the "Safe Sex" dress because nothing was coming between me and all that material.  Looking back, I look like I had a fight with the living room curtains and I won!

Tracie wore the dress one more time on a cruise and I think after that it was officially retired.  But then again, Taryn has the Prom coming up in 2018, we may need to recycle it from retirement one more time...

Congrats to all you 2013 Graduates!  Have fun at the Prom!









 




Don't Forget



This Sunday don't forget to 



Have a Happy Mother's Day weekend everybody! (I couldn't resist this one.)

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