... the tales of two sisters

Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.




In life, daily we cross bridges. Sometimes they are bridges over troubled waters.
But in life, remember this- when you get to the other side, always be able to look back and smile.
We may be sad when it’s over, but always grateful because it happened.

Thank you for the tremendous love and support my children and I have received on the sudden loss of their father.
When we look back, we can only smile.

Something for Your Toolbox

Someone told me that losers focus on what they are going through, whereas winners focus on where they are going to.

And to that I’d like to add a refrain from my book, Incompatible with Nature–A Mother’s Story, because sometimes we all could use a little support. Please remember to hang in there and know that,

It ain’t no givin’ up and no givin’ out. Destiny happens when we least expect it. She has a magnetic force, she is inescapable.

And she is waiting for you.

Here’s to Life everybody!


Never, never, never give up!

Steve Looney’s favorite quote was by Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never give up.”

In honor of his memory, today, we ask you to support the
Steve Looney Scholarship Fund Attn: Bill Hogan
SU Advancement Services
901 12th Avenue
Seattle, WA 98122

Steve Looney –

“As around the sun the earth knows she’s revolving
And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May
Just as hate knows love’s the cure
You can rest your mind assure
That We’ll be loving you always
As now can’t reveal the mystery of tomorrow
But in passing will grow older every day
Just as all is born is new
Do know what I say is true
That We’ll be loving you always”

A Passage for You

This passage from my book, Incompatible with Nature-A Mother’s Story, is dedicated today to all of my family and all of the friends who knew and loved Steven Dean Looney. Make it a real celebration when you gather to reminisce and share stories about his life tomorrow. He would have wanted it that way.

Having a finger immersed in the flavorful pie of life requires personal evolution, and sometimes revolution, whether we like it or not, for it is not an easy task to understand our needs and wants and choices and why we need and want and choose them and wracking our brains out trying to justify it all. And no matter if we’re flying towards the opposite side of the world, getting a divorce or just learning to adjust to a different situation, the sheer force of the circumstance thankfully helps us to jump over our own shadows.

Everyone would find his way, I decided. For even in a dim light, life does indeed go on.

Here’s to Life everyone!

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Brother-in-Law, Here’s to Your Life

Love is something we are born to receive and to give; it is its own force of nature. It can’t be swayed.

In this sense, my brother-in-law, Steven Dean Looney was a loved and loving man.

We first met when I was studying at Seattle University. Though he’d graduated several years before I did, he was very much a part of the scene at his alma mater, as he continued to be all of his life because he knew the meaning of loyalty…

I distinctly remember paying my tuition in cash one month. It was something like $750. 00 a quarter or maybe that was even for 3 quarters–today the cost is well over $50,000.00 a year. Not trying to date myself, but the amount of tuition I paid reflected the Stone Ages. If my tuition was that, then Steve’s must have surely been a pre-historic amount! He must have paid in real peanuts. I mean literally!

I smile now as I recall the many times I would tease him about this. His eyes would twinkle and he’d chuckle, saying, “Oh come on Trace, you know you’re as old as me.” And we’d hug and laugh because he knew the real joy, the real joy to be found in laughter…

And he didn’t have a mean spirited bone in his body. Not one. I never, ever heard him denigrate or belittle someone. Not ever. And he was liberal in his giving–and I don’t mean just things. He knew the bountifulness to be found in taking the time to engage in plain old good conversation, because he knew the meaning of generosity…

Whenever I greeted him in Seattle, it was always with open arms and saying: “Hey brother-in-law! How are you?”

This, he will always be–some things cannot be swayed.

Brother-in-Law, you gave the best of what you had.

You will be missed.

Here’s to your Life!

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There are Two Absolutes in Life!

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My first clue should have been that his last name was Looney, that I indeed was in for a wild and crazy ride.
When we first met, he appeared much younger than his 38 years. His youth defying looks continued through his life. With his polo collar flipped up and his sweater tied around his neck and his short shorts, the guy had swag like I’d never seen.
It’s hard to believe it now, but I was younger than our son and not even legal to drink when he took me to Henry’s Off Broadway for our first cocktail.
Too many vodkas to count later… Steve left us all this past Sunday. Although we divorced after two amazing children and twenty two years, we continued to remain the best of friends and talked and or squabbled daily. I always told him to agree with me, so we could both be right! We celebrated every Christmas and Thanksgiving with our children, because we both knew they were the reasons for our seasons and our biggest blessings.

The memories I hold deepest are Steve’s compassion and deep love for all of his children. He was a fierce protector of his two oldest Tracy (deceased) and Stephanie, as well as our two and his siblings and his friends. It’s rare to see the span of decades that his friendships such as his bestie Dick Baird, and he remained and maintained since childhood. Everyone who Steve loved and loved him became his family. There are too many to count, but know that we are grateful for the love and friendship so many continued to bless Steve with.

I can’t even begin to express the gratitude for the love and expressions and outreach from those who knew and loved Steve. He had a generous heart, an infectious smile, a savvy business acumen, a wicked sense of humor and an ego bigger than the size of Washington State. As many know, he was a multi-sport star athlete and part of Seattle U’s historic upset over the undefeated Texas Western where the movie, Glory Road was documented. But aside from his athletic accomplishments, business success, and love for friends and family, Steve did it his way.

He lived Well, He Laughed Often… He taught us all there are two Absolutes in life- Love and Vodka!
Here’s to Steve!

A celebration of life is pending and we are finalizing details for this Saturday April 1. Please reach out if you are not contacted for details.

With love, Dana, Stephanie, Brett, and Taryn

FRIENDSHIP in the menopausebarbee Monday Spotlight

We root for each other and accept each other unconditionally.

They are a few of some very important people in my life.

We had the great fortune to bring our corners of the world–namely, Morocco, America, Turkey, Germany and Venezuela together last Friday and Saturday to share a few fabulous hours in Vienna, Austria.

We are mothers, daughters, aunts, uncles, sons, gay, straight, designers, authors, artists, business professionals, excitable, determined, have all faced difficult times and challenges and even cried together, yet, have not lost our ability to be grateful for a beautiful day shared between friends. Quite the contrary: we rejoice in it!

We are the world indeed.

As the Greek philosopher Epicurus observed: “Of all the things that wisdom provides to help one live one’s life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship. Eating or drinking without a friend is the life of a lion or a wolf.”

And because I’m so very thankful for all of mine, FRIENDSHIP is shining brilliantly today in the menopausebarbee Monday Spotlight. That and Wiener Schnitzel! Love the schnitzel!

Here’s to Life my friends!



Start Me Up!

They met at the age of 4 and went on to write over 200 songs together.
I grew up on some of these hits and many a day, I have belted “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”,”Honky Tonk Woman”, “Start me up.” “Brown Sugar” and “Beast of Burden.”
Of course, I’m talking about Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. Imagine collaborating at the age of less than a handful and the prolific lyrics are now a gift to the generations.

For this Menopausebarbee, their timeless sound and funky lyrics came full circle as my 15 year old daughter wore her favorite Stones t-shirt to school.
I pulled out my senior year book and showed her my Rolling Stones ticket concert from the 1980’s at the Kingdome. For a whopping $16, I was on the 100 level.

I was beyond Satisfaction that we could share this history and cross generation of timeless tunes.

Happy weekend to all my Honky Tonk sisters and Don’t Make a Grown Man Cry!



Be Remarkable! Here’s to Life!

Have you ever awoken with that euphoric feeling that you’ve accomplished something? I mean, that you really did it?

I hope so. My euphoria lies in the fact that it is slowly dawning on me that my book, Incompatible with Nature–A Mother’s Story will be published in German and available October 2017.

I have suffered.
I have struggled.
I have cried.
I have prayed.
I have stood on the edge.
I have survived and lived to tell the tale and never dreamed that in telling my story I would inspire so many people. This is amazing and I am so very humbled and THANKFUL to be in a position to boost and encourage others on their life journeys.

A highlight of my book tour last month in America was speaking before the students at the University of Illinois College of Medicine at Rockford in Illinois. I was so very honored at this opportunity because not only was my presentation open to all staff and students, it was mandatory for the second year medical students to attend. I again thank the Regional Dean of the University, Dr. Stagnaro-Green, Andrea Langs Bear and the entire university student body and staff for so warmly welcoming me.

Though my address was directed to these medical students, the roots of what I had to say were not exclusive to them. Some of what I had to say applies to humankind collectively. That means you and me and you and you and…

In part, I told these aspiring doctors and medical professionals to remember that words matter; that patience and communication are vital. We need to encourage and support each other; we all have the same goal and that is to save, preserve, protect and enjoy life.

And I shared my father’s manifesto that he instilled upon me as a little girl and which helped/helps to lift me up and set myself in motion when I just don’t think I can go on. Grammar poor, but so very rich in content and I’m sure this was purposefully intended, it is: “It ain’t no givin’ up and no givin’ out.” So when you get tired, when you feel you just can’t put in another minute, keep your eye on the prize. You are on a mission!

And my 3 Cs: be conscientious, competent, and compassionate in everything you do. You can’t go wrong.

And in the event there are some in the medical field reading this post today, this is specifically for you:

Use your diagnostic tools and instruments, specifically your stethoscopes, your symbol of being a healthcare professional, to listen for all the sounds of life–all of its rhythmic beats and whooshes and whispers and sighs; listen for every high and low and hope and triumph. You will never acquire this skill unless you practice, practice, practice and remember that oftentimes, the scarier, the bigger and the more painful the challenges, the greater the rewards. 

And carry this standard from the Hippocratic oath always with you: I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife or the chemist’s drug.

It’s Thursday. It’s a good day. Everybody, take care of yourselves and be remarkable because remarkable is where miracles happen!

Here’s to Life!


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Gone, But Never Gonged…

I think he was this Menopausebarbee’s first crush. His indomitable spirit, laughter, and that dance, that dance, that dance…
Gone, but never Gonged or forgotten.
Keep on Dancin’ Chuck Barris

Did you know, Chuck Barris also created the Dating Game and The Newlywed Game? Thanks for the childhood memories and laughter!