Does absence truly make the heart grow fonder?

I’m in a long distance relationship and I can affirm that my fiancé and I are always happy to see each other. The challenges are missing the spontaneity of events, and moments and the daily grind.

As a Menopausebarbee, speaking with friends about the pros and cons of long distance relationships, I am confident that this is a viable option as divorce is on the rise with this Pandemic.

I met a single lady yesterday eager to find her plus one and we discussed her options. I was adamant that she did not limit herself by geography. Fortunately and unfortunately there is a large demographic of relationships that have not survived the past twelve plus months. With this pandemic, the truth is, it’s already established that spending more time together, in close quarters, can increase the chance of divorce.

From personal experience, I can attest that going through a separation and divorce was one of my most challenging and painful life experiences. I often felt stripped naked sitting in a witness stand while the interrogation fired.

Who, What, Where, When, Was and Why?

Who made the decision?

What was the breaking point?

Where did the final moment occur?

When was or will it be final?

Was there someone else?

Why, why, why??????

The divorce rate in the U.S. is a staggering 50%. In the Menopausebarbee world, the statistics seem even higher. I have an equal ratio of female and male friends all “recycled” going through the transition from “WE” to “ME”. Compiled with the financial stress of separating households, the navigation of children and helping them comprehend their “new norm”, the awkward holidays and forced vacations, and life long friends lost as a casualty of the separation, the process can be overwhelming.

So in the midst of healing and releasing the covers revealing the Letter D, which no longer stood for Dana, but now for Divorce on my chest and unraveling my legs from the fetal position, I found myself in constant defense mode. Looking at the nosy ones, you know, the one’s that “don’t really want to hear your problems, but are glad to know you got them”, and ask back- DOES IS REALLY MATTER TO YOU? If I’m the main character in your life, then you got too much time on your hands. If my life’s drama is the headline of your day, then you need to get a new gig.

Fortunately, I was able to navigate through my divorce pretty much with my outlook on life - Accept What is, let go of What was, and have faith in what will be.

My ex and I were connected until his demise. We had history and two amazing, beautiful well adjusted children.

So, don’t let it be a damn panic. It’s a pandemic and it’s prevalent all over the world.

Find your happiness, even if they don’t live in same zip code.