menopausebarbees
... the tales of two sisters

Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.

Who Let the Cats In?

Last week while visiting Tenesee, I caught up with a dear friend. She is gorgeous, funny, hard working, a dedicated mom, smart, outgoing over 40, and SINGLE.
As we laughed about the losers and bruisers on the dating app Bumble, she lamented that the stats of a finding a good Southern man carried the odds of being struck by lightning. It was ironic, as we sat during a magnificent thunderstorm. Keep hope alive! She shared how she and another single girlfriend ended up at a packed bar. PACKED with females. I imagined the scene: The aroma of the over saturated perfume, hair spray to fight the humidity, fake tan oils to give a glow, without the sun damaging effects, short skirts, covering Victoria’s best kept secrets, legs perched in high pointed heels which of course hurt, but it’s more important to look good than to feel good. The bar tender greets my friend, “What’ll you have?” My friend answers, “A Man.” Bartender laughs, looks around and says, “You realize you are in Nashville.” So she settled on a vodka tonic.

I’ve decided to write this post today, as the struggle appears real in every city.  My single friends from Washington to New York echo the same challenges.

As a tennis player, I know how tough it is to find the right doubles partner. It’s the same in life. You start out as love all. Then it gets serious and you realize in addition to comraderie, you want someone to have your back as you score in all life’s milestones. Of course there will be faults, but in the end more aces to celebrate the grand slams.

I feel very fortunate that as a Menopausebarbee, I have found such a partner.  Although we are opposites on many levels, our puzzle pieces fit.  As I prepared this post, my fiancé and his friends lamented that if I chose to address the topic, I needed to expose that fact that many women need to ask WHAT DO I BRING TO THE TABLE?  So with that caveat, keep in mind, today, many males as well as females want a counterpart who has a solid resume.  I surveyed several guys some married,, some single and asked specifically what they looked for in a mate and here are some responses: Someone fun to be with, not a lot of drama, athletic, outgoing, can carry on a conversation, and gets along with friends.  They also added that they were choosing their words carefully and would want a  woman who is financially stable- not  rich, just at this juncture, one who has her economics in order.

I find myself resourceful, and pretty much shameless when it comes to meeting people of both sexes. I have connected more than a few couples who have gotten married. So, aside from letting your possee be your frontline soldier meeting strangers and making introductions, I’m asking readers to help with suggestions.

Where do you suggest over 40s go to meet their mate?  My daughter suggests airports.  My mom thinks Museums.  My fiancé said Taste of Washington Wine Auction.

I suggest hospital cafeterias- doctors got to eat!

Bumble, Match or other dating sites, Bars, The gym, Starbucks, Whole Foods, Church, sporting events, Wine Tastings, charities, Volunteering,.. or just let the cats in?