menopausebarbees
... the tales of two sisters

Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.

The Perks of being a Menopausebarbee and Beyond!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, You are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run– Anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, ‘Did I wake you?’

5. People no longer view you as aHypochondriac.

6.There is nothing leftTo learn the hard way.

7.Things you buy nowWon’t wear out.

8.You can eat Supper at 4 PM.

9.You can live without sex, but not your glasses.

10.You get into heated argumentsAbout pension plans.

11.You no longer think of speed limitsAs a challenge.

12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walksinto the room.

13.You sing alongWith elevator music.

14.Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologiststhan the national weather service.

17.Your secrets are safe with your friendsbecause they can’t remember them either.

18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19.You can’t remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in big printfor your convenience.AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:Never, NEVER, NEVER, Under any circumstances,Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative onThe same night!