Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.
Ahh…Hercules we think we are, but Hercules we are not, so in this sense, I thank all of you from the deepest part of my heart for your concern, well wishes and support for me in my court case Tuesday. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious.
The outcome was actually a win for my son and his father as well as a win for me.
In a nutshell, the three panel members of the high court repeated German law which says in part, that as long as your offspring is a student (up until the age of 25), you, the parent are financially responsible, if you are able, to support them. (If not, the government provides aid.)
Fair enough. I am able. I had to work damn hard to be able. I had to work damn hard to be able and still work damn hard to be able and I therefore do not have the wherewithal to be consciously taken advantage of financially or emotionally. It just doesn’t work for me. You would think that after knowing me all these years, my two adversaries would know this.
This case was decided Tuesday in the high court because my son and his father appealed the the two lower court decisions.
The first decision three years ago: financial support to be shared equally by both parents. Well, my adversaries thought that justice was not served with this decision so they appealed. Their appeal was based on the “evidence” they presented to the court that my almost-I-can’t-wait-until-the-day ex husband had knee problems, couldn’t work and was financially depleted.
Parallel to this, my divorce was in full swing. I had secretly moved out of my home leaving the adversaries there and eventually forced the house into foreclosure knowing the elder adversary would make a move to save it which he did. Hmm…Can’t be broke and pull that one off.
Sometime too, during this tumultuous time, a little angel whispered in my ear that the elder adversary was also indeed working. I drove to this place of work before dawn and after dusk making pictures on the sly, but fearful of getting caught and not sure if my pictures would be enough proof for the courts, I hired a private detective whose documented proof was acceptable by the courts.
Elder adversary had/has assets.
Second decision about a year later: court decides that I don’t have to pay anything because the adversaries inflated my income, could not prove the ridiculous numbers and it was not the judge’s job to do so. Court adjourned. The adversaries make a second appeal which lands us back in court for a third and final time on Tuesday. Final. I’ve come to love that word.
Here is the explanation of the win win. First off, the judges said that the case was complicated. After all, the younger adversary did say that his father told him he did not work and had no income. So that must explain everything, right? Surely it makes sense for a grown man to live under a roof with his father and not know how the father pays the housekeeper, right?
On the other hand, though the court could not exactly pinpoint just what the elder adversary’s assets where at the time in question, they did find that based on the evidence I had presented, that he did indeed have assets.
The decision: compromise. I pay half and the elder adversary pays half. They win because at least now I have to pay something and I win because I don’t have to pay as much as they wanted.
I remember a time when it was just…us.