menopausebarbees
... the tales of two sisters

Dana lives in Seattle, and Tracie lives in Germany. We are businesswomen, writers and humorists. We write about life, dating, and today's modern women.

FundUS Minimus…What Would You Do?

Ahh February, the month of L-O-V-E.
I have to say, year after year, I thoroughly enjoy watching the maneuvering of the unfaithful on Cupid’s Day February 14.
I was talking with one of my single girlfriends who thought she had found a potential Mr. Right until he told her he thought he picked up the Corona Virus on a recent trip and had to be quarantined, thus couldn’t take her out to dinner last Friday. Yep, that Friday as in the 14th Miraculously
by Saturday evening, the 15th, his symptoms had resolved and he was ready for a make-up full meal deal. Nothing says I’m not single like being unavailable on Valentine’s Day. Talking to her over drinks as she “Bumbled” around on “Hinge”, “Match” and other dating sites, I shared
a story of my own dating mishaps and I call this one Love em’ or Leave em’. I still believe chivalry is not dead. Before you go all “Libber” on me, just hear me out. As a mother of a 26 year old man, I always ask him- are you the type of man you would want your daughter to date? If not, then change to be that man. Being that man means Get with the Program. Get your finance in order for your romance. There is something about a a man wine-ing and dining not leaving you whining and dying over his unfortunate condition my fiancé coined FundUS Minimus.

So, my story… I was recently divorced and after 23 years of marriage, completely unaware or ill prepared for the New Dating Rules. Those who know me will tell you, I am generous to a fault. There is not a cheap bone in my body and I truly feel cheapness is one of the worst
of human traits. I find pleasure in giving. My motto is, you can’t receive with a clinched fist. But my mother didn’t suffer fools, so she has taught me to be wary of those who prey. So, single, fresh out the gate, when I accepted an invitation to dinner, I suspected our first date would be his treat. I had
gone on a prior date with a man who was so cheap, when the bill came, he suggested we split it.
I looked at him and sarcastically said,
“You didn’t get the memo… I’m African American NOT Dutch!” Call me an old school girl, girl, but damn, this Menopausebarbee had really been out of the game. So I assumed
this was just a rare bad luck experience. Next date, which I accepted was a set up by a mutual friend. We met at The Met, Seattle’s premiere steak house and I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. At the time I was eating meat, so I consumed my filet Oscar with extra crab on top. Everything was al a carte. The starter salad, brussel sprouts, I believe even the bread came with a fee (lol).
He ordered a few bottles of Rombauer, one of my favorite red wines on the more pricey side. I reasoned my luck had turned until the bill arrived and suddenly Mr. Fabulous started patting down his pockets. I looked at him and said, “Why are you doing the Macarena?”
As the bill sat idle on the table, I recognized that he wasn’t busting a dance move, when he exclaimed his credit card was left at home. He was worse than Dutchman! So, I’m asking all of you- what would you do in that circumstance. Stay tuned…